Monday, December 29, 2003


I've been having insomnia. It'll be painful today.

Random bits

Been busy with the holidays...
Had a successful housewarming party:

Everyone loved the spiked cider.

I was telling John how funny it sounds to tell people that I got a power sander and an Ugly Doll for Christmas. But that's what he gave me and I love them! I got John a dvd and a National Geographic photo book.

Tommorrow I pack for the trip to SF for NYE. Gotta clean my car so that it will be acceptable for John's parents to use while we are gone. (Yes, his parents are staying with us. It is a full house.)

So much to do with so little time. John and I will have a blast.

After some searching, I am relieved to find out that both Crossroads and Buffalo Exchange exist in LA. I can continue dressing oh-so-fashionably at bargain rates! Woohoo! I bought a couple of pairs of pants that I have been wearing just a little too often- almost every other day. Thank God I'm not in highschool, I'd be lynched!

Tuesday, December 9, 2003


After a nice yoga class at yoga works the other day, I decided to try on some yoga pants. Incidentally, there was a lady also trying on clothes right next to me. Well today I was going through my yoga clothes when I came upon an unfamiliar used piece of clothing. I screamed, "Oh my God!" when I realized that they belonged to that poor, unsuspecting woman. I had snatched her pants so she ended up pantsless (or is it pantless?) and was probably forced to buy new yoga pants just so that she could make it home! Oops!

Too Much Excitement

I finally got a call from one of my photo assistant ads that I have posted. When I called the person back after listening to the message, I was asked a few questions:

Guy: "Well we already found someone, but I'll keep you on file. Are you strong?"

Me: "Yes, I'm pretty strong."

Guy: "You're a strong girl, huh?"

Me: (More brightly) "Yeah, I'm pretty strong."

Guy: "Can you move couches around?"

Me: "I can move things around just not lift large objects over my head."

Guy: "Are you open to working in the adult pornographic film industry?"

For a sec, I'm wondering if he is kidding, but I realize he is serious.

Me: (chuckling) "Yeah, I suppose so."

I think to myself, "It is okay as long as I'm on the other side of the camera and NOT in front of it. Hell, it might be interesting. There would be stories to tell! Would I ever be bored at work? Probably not!"

Guy: "So and so," (he says a woman's name here. I forgot it already.) "Is really nice and fun to work with. We treat the women nicely and there isn't anything too crazy going on- just a lot of bouncing around."

"So I'll keep your card for future reference."

Me: "Yeah, I'll give you my cell number."

The cell phone is becoming useful already.

Right after that conversation I decided to check on my chestnuts roasting in the toaster oven. I was in mid phone conversation with Jessie while cutting a chestnut open when *BAM* the nut exploded in my face! I screamed and accidentally hung up on Jessie. When I confirmed that my eyes were okay, I looked around to see chestnut shrapnel all over the place. A sticky, pulverized mess that got on everything including the postcards on the refrigerator. I looked over at the oven with the other chestnut sitting in there like a ticking time bomb and started laughing.

Holiday cooking tip:

ALWAYS pierce chestnuts before roasting them.

Sunday, December 7, 2003


Yay! I'm very excited...A print from my Beach series sold at SF Camerawork's auction! I donated the print so I don't get any money, but it is nice to know that someone was willing to shell out a few hundred bucks for one of my photographs.

I wonder where it will hang?

Friday, December 5, 2003

Dancing and Singing

My roommate at the last place I lived had a cute orange cat named Prudence. Prudence took a liking to me immediately. Maybe she only adored me because I had a sunny bedroom that contained a soft bed with a fuzzy blanket. It was also the warmest room in the house. Since Pru was always in my room, we developed a relationship. I'd sing to her, pet her, run up and down the hallway with a red string for her to chase, squish her nose, and tease her. (One of the things I liked to do was to run around the house shaking her can of treats while she ran behind me squeaking out her broken meows.) She in turn greeted me when I came home, and wanted to be wherever I was in the house. It was a very interactive person-to-pet friendship.

Here, in Playa del Rey, John and I have 2 fish. The star attraction is the bright orange and white clownfish that has a cute, wiggly swimming pattern. His name is Gilgamesh, but I insist on calling him Geronimo or Gargamel. The other fish is a boring blue damsel. He doesn’t have a name. He’s “the blue fish”.

I’ve taken up the fun task of feeding them twice a day. I sing to them whenever it’s feeding time (and sometimes when it’s not), say hello to them, and when I’m in a really good mood, I jump around the tank and do a little dance, sometimes mimicking Gilgamesh’s wiggle.

I think that this scares the fish. They look nervous and Gilgamesh gets in his guarding-his-territory position.

No matter how cute the fish are, and no matter how much I want them to be interactive, I will not get that much entertainment out of them. I know this. I really do. 

So now I have gotten John to place bets with me on which fish gets the big red flake first when I feed them. I’m not giving up on the fish yet!

Thursday, December 4, 2003

The Sound

I was painting in my room the other night when I noticed a sort of whooshing sound outside. Cars? Didn't sound like cars. It was a bit late for what sounded like a regular passage of vehicles.

And then I realized what it was. The whooshing was the crashing of the waves on the beach that is only 2 blocks from my house.

I have never heard that sound from my home before.

Wednesday, December 3, 2003

I've Joined the Masses!

Wow, I finally got a cell phone! I have managed to be without one for such a long time. (Although I've often used my friends' phones.) Now watch, I'm going to become dependent on that thing and feel lost and empty if I go anywhere without it. I just better not become one of those annoying drivers rolling around dangerously on the streets while chatting on their damn phones.

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Happy Smell

Mmm. I love the smell of fireplaces burning wood in the Fall and Winter.

Friday, November 28, 2003

Home Alone

John has left for Seattle this afternoon. I think I'll make some turkey stock so I can make the actual soup tomorrow, then do laundry, and paint. Maybe I'll even put my wedding portfolio together. I'll have to be extra ambitious for that!

I haven't painted in a while. A few months before I moved I started stocking up on wood and visiting people's studio's to cut it all up. My friends Jessie and Mike actually cut some of it for me. (I feel lucky to have such supportive artistic friends.) Those wood panels are now sitting in my studio waiting to be painted on. Problem is, I think I want different shapes and sizes now. That was a few months ago and things change!

People ask how I feel about John always going away to play a party or club somewhere. I miss him, but I welcome the time to do what I want uninterrupted. I'm pretty independent and I cherish my alone time.

(In case anyone is wondering about the turkey soup, you just throw in the turkey bones and scraps in a pot along with some onions, garlic, and herbs, cover it with water and let is simmer for 2-3 hours. Then you let it cool, skim the fat off the top, and strain the broth. Voila! Stock! Afterwards, you can add whatever you want to the stock to make the soup. I like to add onions, potatos, carrots, celery, and parsley. Yum! Simple yet good. )

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Oh well...

I've given up hope of getting the gallery job. It's tough having to start all over in a new city. I haven't even had the chance to work on any art because John and I had been living without a ceiling and messed-up living room for the past month. All of our time was spent looking for stuff for the house. We just got our place put back together this weekend. Now all I have to tackle is the GIANT never-ending paper pile.

While going through the pile, I found this quote that I saved:

Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.


Sunday, November 9, 2003


I'm still waiting to hear whether I got the assistant job at theCraig Krull Gallery. (Check out the works online section. There is some great art there.) I already sent Craig a follow-up email AND called him so I can't contact him again.

I really, really, really, REALLY want this job.


Saw Lost in Translation last night. I loved it. It did a wonderful job of portraying how a Westerner can feel wandering around Tokyo. It is such a huge, intimidating city. There is no way a non-Japanese person can blend in so one becomes the minority. It is such a highly developed, technological city, yet it is so different than the States or Europe. I was lucky enough to have a guide, but I can imagine how daunting it can be to wander around by yourself; You can't even try to pronounce the characters of the written language. I can remember being at a ramen place and trying to match the characters that went with the pictures to the characters on the price list.

I did have a better time in Tokyo than those 2 did though. I loved it.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

found items

Someone at work looked at my thermos and asked, "You like Starbucks?"

I looked at the logo on my thermos, thought a moment and said, "Oh, someone gave that to me."

I didn't feel like telling the truth which was that I found it on the sidewalk. I was really wishing for a good thermos to take my tea to work and one day, on my lunch break while walking up the hill on Castro up to to 20th Street, there was the thermos of my dreams. It still even had the price tag on the bottom. It cost something like 28 bucks brand new. I knew that it was okay to pick up because it was purposely sitting right outside someone's house alongside a coffeemaker as if someone just decided to quit his/her coffee habit. The Castro is a pretty darn clean neighborhood too; I wasn't getting any cootie vibes from it, so I took it home, washed it, and have been using it ever since.

But anyways, I just don't think that Los Angeleans get the whole if-you-don't-want-it-then -just-put-it-on-the-street-for-someone-else-who-can-use-it mentality. People here may think I'm crazy if I told them the truth. Actually, some San Franciscans may think so too.

All I have to say is that I've put together some pretty cute outfits from some clothes that I've found while out and and about in SF. Every single one of my found items have received a compliment!

Sunday, October 26, 2003


The SoCal fires are out of control. Hundreds of homes have been destroyed and lives have been lost.

Last night in Huntington Beach there was a surreal snow of ash falling from the sky. The 2am air was warm with the smell of fire.

I really hope that the fires are contained soon.

Friday, October 24, 2003

Sarah Perry

I've fallen in love. Her name is Sarah Perry and she is an amazing sculptor who uses found objects. I walked into the gallery and my blood pressure rose as my heart quickened. I even went back in the evening to hear her speak. She is passionate, spiritual, and down to earth.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003


I'm very intimidated by the LA traffic and the noncommunal feel of this city. I guess I'll get used to it eventually.

Thursday, October 9, 2003

Lost :-(

I lost my light meter ! I went to the beach with Noel to get a few last Ocean Beach photos for my series and I dropped it somewhere. Barely 5 minutes went by from the time I had it in my hand to when I noticed it was gone.

We combed that beach for about 45 minutes. Two sets of eyes and we found nothing. Someone must've picked it up even though there was hardly anyone around at all. I was devastated. I waited and saved for a long time for that tool knowing that it would open a world of photo possibilities. And now that door has shut itself on me again.

$250!!! That's what it cost. Maybe that's chump change to some, but to someone who only makes about $13,000 per year, that's a lot of money. Now I am moving with no job and no savings, and I have to get another light meter. It is my key to creativity and sanity.


Grrr, sometimes my absentmindedness can really piss me off!

Thursday, September 25, 2003


I’ve been going through all of my things and many memories are being conjured up. I have a ceramic box with leaf prints that I made when I was a camp counselor. It’s not that great, but I can’t let go of it. Every time I look at it I wish that I had the other one that I made. But I made that one for a guy that I had a romantic fling with in Santa Fe, New Mexico. That box was perfect. It really was. I spent weeks paddling its form so that it would have perfect edges. Everyone who saw it said that it was perfect. The terracotta clay, the iron oxide, and the inside black glossy glaze were harmonious.

I don’t like the colors or shape of mine and it was obviously made with way less love. It looks like an afterthought, like “Oh, I want a box too, but I don’t want to spend as much time on it.” Sigh! Every time I look at it is a lesson in art making or anything-making for that matter: never hurry and do something half-assed because you’ll regret it later.

I just hope that S. still has the box. Or maybe it landed in someone else’s hands who can appreciate the energy put into it.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

It Is Set In Stone Now

I gave my 30 day notice a couple of days ago. Yikes! I have finally set things in motion and it's unstoppable now. I've realized that I won't be able to do everything on my to-do list no matter how much I keep extending my departure date. (There are always new projects that get added on.)

I have one month and I've started collecting boxes. Here I go!

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Leaving San Francisco

I can't believe that I'm moving in almost a month. I have made such a home of San Francisco. This is where I came of age. Little did I know before I came here how much I was just cluelessly bumbling around with so much yet to learn. I arrived here after being with someone for 6 years. I was with him from the ages 19-25. I had become so used to being with someone. I didn't know how to make decisions on my own and my emotions were crazy.

Life was a little aimless and daunting. It took a year before I made any true friends; I had to go through a lot of people who were living unhealthy lives. I went through unemployment (and this was when everyone else around me was living high during the dotcom boom), lived in flats with creepy roommates (The worst was the place where the guy was always exploding on the toilet seat, watched porn openly, stayed up all night having speed sex with strangers, and had a friend who splattered blood all over the bathroom.), went on food stamps, and went out way too much to all of the clubs and raves (the scene was amazing).

Despite the craziness, I learned how to love, made wonderful friends whom I'll keep forever, met great people in the photo field, always paid cheap rent (I am currently paying about $340 per month!!), danced my ass off at some parties that I would call peak moments, and regained my creative edge. I have become happy with who I have become.

I seriously urge people to try being on their own if they haven't had a chance. Travel is a great way to do it, especially if you are happy with someone yet want to strengthen your sense of self. Traveling solo forces you to figure things out without the safety net of someone to catch you if you fall. But there are always memorable people you meet along the way.

Being an artist definitely helps me have a sense of who I am. I guess it gives me a purpose. That purpose may not mean much to anyone else but it means something to me, which is all that matters. Just finding that creative, nurturing voice inside all of us soothes the soul. I think that we are all seeking a way to enter that state of flow. It's about finding your passions and following them.

I think I'm ready to embark on this next chapter in my life. Underneath the fear and sadness, I'm looking forward to it. Who knows what lies ahead? I'm excited.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

This page is finally up!! Yay! I am only semi-tech savvy and I don't know any html. I just used my Dreamweaver knowledge, someone's template, lots of looking at other page sources, and cutting and pasting. Whew! I'm still having trouble with getting my recommended books to show up.

But, I must move on to other things today. After all, I did not sell my Burning Man ticket just so that I could spend days upon end working on this one web page!!

I must work on my photos. There's a few hours of retouching to be done. No more procrastinating!
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