Tuesday, June 7, 2005

Duct Tape

When I first saw my studio space, I thought, "Wow, a giant room to work in and be among other artists in one building!" I was dazzled and even saw past the large water stains on the ceiling. After all, they were going to be painted over and even if the white didn't quite match the original, it was okay. I kept exclaiming to myself, "This is an art studio!"

It was only after I handed over the check did I notice all of the other pitfalls...I smelled a musty/earthy scent when I was taping the edge of the floors in preparation to paint the walls. This is a strong indicator of mold. MOLD!!! I am freaking out. I smell it all of the time now when I am in that corner. (This issue is being addressed and has been brought to the landlord's attention)

The master tenant had mentioned that I could take off the crumbling cottage cheese ceiling if I wish. I looked into it on the internet and found out that it very most likely contains asbestos. Supposedly it is okay as long as it is undisturbed, but my ceiling is peeling! I asked her to spray some paint over the cracks so that they will be a bit sealed. It has been done and I feel better about it.

I once sat alone in the middle of that big, semi-musty room when it was empty and I started to cry. I looked out my window that held a lovely view of the gas station and bus stop. My new neighborhood is full of noise, fumes, and plain old ugly urban desolation. What did I do? Did I do the right thing? I wanted my comfy home by the beach complete with cuddly boyfriend in cozy bed back. Although deep down, I knew I did the right thing. The path towards the truth is not always the easy one.

To top off this oh-so-sorry-for-myself portrait, I'd like to mention what I did today. I bought duct tape. What's so bad about duct tape, you may ask? Well, I don't like the gap that is between the wall and the floor. the gap is a deep and dirt gets in there. I also don't like how there are cracks in the floor where a stinky old building smell rises from them. There is actually a draft coming out of these cracks. I thought about caulk, but it would take 20+ tubes of caulk to do the job and I just don't see myself being that committed to the place to do such a job. So what's the next best alternative?? Duct tape! Not the gray stuff, but white duct tape. It matches the paint just a little better. Such genius! I thought to myself.

So today, I taped up a portion of my room especially where my bed and clothes are and stepped back to assess my job. My shoulders slumped down as I looked at my handiwork. Duct tape. Those two words landed with a thud on top of it all and they keep haunting me. This is where I live? In a duct taped room?? What happened? Well, whatever happened, it's all my doing.

I just keep telling myself that this is temporary. I'll just think of it as that little time in my life when I lived in a little run down art studio. I will make the best of it and create as much as possible while here.

1 comment:

Vera said...

I remembered this post from when you first wrote it and had to come back to it today. I'm feeling similarly today - handed over the check for a studio apartment yesterday and the doubt is starting to settle in. Like you, I know I'm doing the right thing but the right thing does have its costs.

Love!

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