Thursday, April 27, 2006

Finally!

I found a place after crazily looking everyday. It was getting close to the deadline of when I said I'd be out and I was getting nervous. One day, before I left on my search, I lifted my hands in the air and said "deliver me to divine residence". I repeated this 4 times as I faced North, South, East, and West. I pictured what I wanted...really focused on it. Later, while driving to see a listed apartment, I drove by a "for rent" sign. Immediately I liked the vibe and the elderly landlord sitting outside the place waiting for visitors. It was a little small but it had everything I wanted: hardwood floors, sunlight, parking, laundry, back stoop, option to have a kitty, and it was in the neighborhood that I wanted. This was it. I filled out the application that day and I got it! Today the landlord gave me the keys, left tangerines from his yard on my kitchen counter, and said that he left a note with the other tenants in the building announcing my arrival.

Somehow, this week everything is fell into place. The dark spell that I was under has been broken and I know that I am my path again.

Monday, April 10, 2006

A Quote on the Creative Being

For the truly creative mind in any field is no more than this- a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create- to create- to create- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of beauty and meaning his very breath is cut off from him. He must create. He must pour out creation. By some strange unknown pressing inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.
~Pearl S. Buck

Friday, April 7, 2006

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~Mary Oliver

Soon

Someday soon I'll paint, sing, and take photographs again. I have to.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

Random Stuff

-So I cleaned out my entire studio. Photos will be posted soon. It is a great space and I'd like to share with everyone how I've been living...yet I have finally given my 30 day notice. I need a change, a new place to truly call my own. I am afraid of the transition yet so truly excited. I had moved to this building during a sad time in my life and it is time to change the energy. There are huge developments underway, no more stagnation. Oh so exciting!

-I am finally developing the friendships that I so need in this vast, lonely city of Los Angeles.

-Had a spur of the moment, random hangout time last night. Decided to see Peace Division at Monday Social which turned into an after party that lasted until almost 6 AM. Hung out with some interesting people which brought me back to the old days when I used to be ultra social and just be so spontaneous. Not something I'd want to do very often but it is a refreshing change. Lots of laughs and silliness.

-I don't know how to upload songs onto my server so I'll just post the lyrics to this uplifting Chemical Brothers song that has been inspiring me lately. It's called "The Test".

Ohhhh can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Yeah am I coming through
Am I coming through
Is it sweet and pure and true?

To looking back this morning
City air summer show me
I was looking like I'd never seen a face before
Here we go now let's slide in through the open door

Pictures and things that I done before
Circling around out here on the floor
I'm dreaming of this and I'm dreaming of that
Regretting nothing think about that

Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Yeah I'm shining
Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Lord I'm shining
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you

You know I almost lost my mind
I can't explain where I've been
You know I almost lost my mind
I can't explain where I've been
You know I almost lost my mind
I couldn't explain what I've seen
And I'm happy to have seen it too
Now that the images are fading away

Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Yeah I'm shining
Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Lord I'm shining
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you

You know I almost lost my mind
I can't explain where I've been
You know I almost lost my mind
I couldn't explain the things I'd seen
But now I think I see the light
Now I think I see the light
Lend me your hand (x5)

Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Yeah I'm shining
Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Lord I'm shining
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you

You know I almost lost my mind
But now I'm home and I'm free
Did I pass the acid test? (x6)

Oh my my my mind
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
(Am I coming through?)
(Am I coming through?)
My heart and my soul they are free
My heart and my soul they are free

You know I almost lost my mind
But now I'm home and I'm free
Did I pass the acid test? (x10)

Oh my my my my mind
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