The Project Room

Lately

2011-10-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

I now have an official food styling portfolio that is hosted by Cargo. I am very satisfied with my site and I love Cargo! Hopefully I will get some more styling work now!On the more artsy side of things, I have been spending a lot of time at the studio. I lot of arranging, brainstorming and making has been happening and I love being at the studio. I always feel a sense of calm when I arrive.

Happy Birthday Leonard Cohen!

2011-09-21T23:39:00.000-07:00

You are one of my most fave musicians of all time.

Francesca Woodman

2011-09-21T17:11:00.000-07:00

Francesca Woodman is one of my favorite photographers who ended her life all too soon. Her work is dark, surreal, and soft. She used herself as the subject most of the time. See more of her work here on Artnet.

There is now a documentary on her and her artist parents. Check out The Woodmans trailer here.

All Moved In

2011-09-15T10:17:00.001-07:00

New Studio, originally uploaded by amparojelsma.

We finally moved into our new studio. Shelves still need to go up so then my paints will have a home. It is quite tiny and someday we will have a bigger work space, but this is great for now. It is cute, cozy, and peaceful. Now all I need is a folding cot or beach chair for naps!

We did it!!

2011-07-23T16:05:00.000-07:00

Above photo snagged from the Craigslist Ad

Matt and I put a deposit down on a tiny art studio. The above photo shows the whole compound and our studio is on the very corner. There are two big windows which make it nice and bright and there is a flowerWe are very excited about this. For the longest time I've been saying that we need some more space and we finally found something within our budget and are committing to it. Now there can't be any procrastination happening!

I have to admit that I am a little nervous about it because I am not used to driving somewhere to do my creative work. I don't even think I can fit all of my supplies in the place. What if I need something that's not there? What if I become inspired to create and I don't feel like driving to the studio? It's a 20 minute commute like most everything else in Los Angeles. I abhor driving in LA and I avoid it as much as possible. I like being at home with my supplies and work table near me.

Wow, my work habits are going to go through a major overhaul.

You may be wondering, "Why get a studio then?" But we REALLY needed one. My art tables take up half the living room and when I work, the whole place looks like a tornado hit it even if I just made it spotless earlier that day. Now that Matt is in the sign painting program at LA Trade Tech, our place has become even more crowded with supplies. It's driving me crazy and I'm always cranky by feeling overcrowded.

It was definitely time to expand and make all of our ideas and dreams come true!

Doodling!

2011-07-01T11:25:00.001-07:00

Doodling, originally uploaded by amparojelsma.

Outward Bound

2011-06-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

When I was little, I was terrified of moths and I would shriek if one came near me. I found them creepy. Nowhere near as beautiful and friendly-looking as their daytime counterparts, the butterflies.

Now, I find them lovely in their clumsy understated ways. Some are actually quite elegant.

Waste Land the Movie

2011-06-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

This is an AMAZING documentary about art that changes people's lives. It's an incredibly touching movie. I got teary-eyed over it. *sniff*

Excellent soundtrack too; Moby scored the whole film. It is definitely one of my fave movies this year.

Read more about it on their website.

Coconut Layer Cake

2011-05-25T18:41:00.001-07:00

Coconut Layer Cake, originally uploaded by amparojelsma.

This is a quick Instagram photo that I took during my and Sidney's portfolio shoot. I will post pics when Sidney gives me the edited and color corrected images. I can't wait!

My Food Blog

2011-04-26T18:38:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I write in my food blog. Sometimes I wonder if I should cross publish and post what's on the food blog here as well. I find that it's usually more about the preparation, eating, and photography than it is about the writing. I'm still not completely happy about the design of it, but I can't keep fussing over it.

What I'm trying to say is that I finally found a name that I am happy to tell the world about. (I was not satisfied with the blog's original name.) I have also added new food photos to my food portfolio on there. So without further ado, I hereby introduce my food blog ...Foodiefull.com. It rhymes with beautiful. Food is amazing and it makes life beautiful. I don't know if I will always be posting beautiful looking food but the experience of food is beautiful (unless you are eating something that tastes disgusting!) I hope you will get some enjoyment out of it.

Featured on Etsy's Front Page

2011-04-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

My mini print "Fruit of Life" made it to Etsy's front page today. What a pleasant surprise! The treasury's title is Chocolate with Grand Marnier. Yum and thank you to Illuminated Perfume who curated this treasury.

New Book

2011-04-06T15:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting here because I had some family matters to attend to, but now I am back. I will post about my work soon. In the meantime, I'd like to say that I am very excited about a new art book that I just treated myself to. It's "b. monroe" which showcases the work of Brendan Monroe. It's chock full of images. I love treating myself to the occasional art book.

Darina and Lila at the Happy Project

2011-03-15T21:37:00.000-07:00

A couple of new cards are up on the Happy Project site. Check them out!

My Studio Space When It Is Clean

2011-03-11T12:43:00.001-08:00

This is half of our living room. I'm glad to have this space, but I really need a larger space with tools. I love how sunny it is.

High Life on the Pacific

2011-03-05T21:19:00.001-08:00

High Life on the Pacific, originally uploaded by amparojelsma.

I finally added the final layer of encaustic wax medium to a few pieces of art. I still need to get a hang of the technique.

Plastic Toy Camera Photos

2011-02-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

I just had two rolls of old toy camera film developed yesterday. Most of the images were just under a year old but I found a few images that were taken in 2005!!! I developed these because they were my most recently shot rolls. I have some more in a bag that are from around 2003-2007. I've been holding off because it's so expensive to have them developed AND scanned at high res tiff.

I was almost a little afraid to see what I got so I waited until this morning. Plastic camera images are unpredictable and some are wonderful surprises while some are disappointing. This image was taken at Mono Lake. That was a fun trip.

Coincidence or Copying???

2011-02-16T16:26:00.000-08:00

I get Google Alerts for the name of this site, The Project Room. Several sites will come up in the alert because the have the same words. I came upon someone's Blogger site with a similar name and decided to check it out. What seemed strange was that the color scheme was very similar. Now I know that many people like to use grey and pink with some blue thrown in. But I just couldn't help but wonder if this person ripped off my blog's look. After all, her blog started 6-7 months after I redesigned mine, its name is similar to mine, the gray border surrounding the middle white is about the same shade and her links are a dusty pink (what I like to call "dusty rose"). Just like mine.

I know that we are all influenced by each other's work. I know that there are popular color schemes. But I couldn't help but wonder...is this case just coincidence or copying???

Forty

2011-02-16T01:25:00.000-08:00

Photo taken by Adam Latham

I turned Forty (40!) earlier this month. At first, I wasn't so sure how I wanted to celebrate. Maybe I should just have it be a quiet evening?? You know, I was turning forty after all and maybe I should just have a mellow welcoming of the new decade, but then I decided to have a big party to celebrate. I'm so glad that I did. I have such amazing friends and I felt the love. Gosh, I just wish the party could have lasted a little longer! The venue I had it at just wouldn't let us go past one thirty and no one was ready to leave yet. Everyone was still grooving to the music and laughing with each other.

I especially loved how many people commented how awesome my friends are. That's the word they all actually used: "awesome". I've been having a hard time expressing how I feel about this without just saying "Awesome!" again. I feel so fortunate to be surrounded by such beautiful beings. That night, the energy was vibrating at such a high level with all of that amazingness packed together in one place! Wow, I sound like a goofy, New Age hippy!

I'm always reassessing my life and this year is no different. There is so much that I want to do. I dilly dallied much of my mid 20's through mid 30's away and now I have been playing a lot of catch up. I do get tired more easily these days. Burning the midnight oil on art projects isn't a normal event for me anymore. If I stay up late working, then I end up sleeping in or just feeling burned out the next day. I don't really gain much time-wise anymore by staying up late. I wish had more energy and time. Oh well, I wish I wish I wish. There is always something to wish for if one isn't being grateful for what one has.

I thought that I was going to share my goals for this year here, but I think I will wait. It's a little late in the night and this post is getting a little long. I wrote a year plan and a longer term plan in my journal in January. After my birthday, I took a look at my written goals and got excited by all the learning, growth, change, and possibilities ahead of me.

Rooms Magazine

2011-01-29T18:10:00.001-08:00

Endless, originally uploaded by amparojelsma.

My drawing "Endless" has been added to Rooms Magazine's painting section on their blog.

The velour adds such a rich dimension to the drawing. I wish that there was a way for the texture of the velour paper to show up on a computer screen, but there isn't. You'll just have to take my word for it.

Confetti Squirt

2011-01-20T18:02:00.001-08:00

I totally forgot to post this. This little painting was sold in a fundraiser at Monte Vista Projects. I just wish I knew who owns it now. I always like to know where my work goes. I wonder what it's doing? (Like the way one wonders what their pet is doing when they are away.) Is it hanging in someone's living room? Is it tucked away in a flat file? Does it work with the decor??

New Beginnings

2011-01-17T13:24:00.000-08:00

I had a good day on Friday. Actually, I had a good week last week. I won my small claims case. It was a dark cloud that got heavier and heavier the closer my court date came. Someone rear ended me last February and his insurance company refused to pay for damages. This haunted me for close to a year because I couldn't let it go yet I was afraid to stand up for myself. I finally decided to stand up for myself. I was shaking before I got up to the stand. I had never done something like this before and it was just me up before the judge stating my case. I really feel like I grew from this experience.

The weight is lifted and now I can look forward in 2011 instead of backwards. I looked backwards with too much angst last year. Next month I will be having a milestone birthday of 40. Forty!!! I'm am not ready to write my thoughts on that yet. That will happen in another post.

Back to Friday...I was gifted many pairs of brand new girly fun shoes. It feels like spring is already here in Los Angeles so I will paint my toe nails and sport the new wedges and heels soon. My good friend also gave me a very new haircut in celebration of winning my case. The cut even has an official name. It's called the "Moda" and she just learned how to do it. I have bangs now and the back of my hair is in a "V". It's a very chic cut. I love it! It symbolizes shedding all of the old and facing the world with a new outlook. Heck, with my new shoes, I'm totally ready to trip around this planet with my new outlook!

The goodness of the day was not over yet...on my way home, I stopped off at the Goodwill and found a few treasures. The boots in the photo above were a score. They are clean too. I triple checked. I even did the sniff test. Kinda gross but it was the only sure way to tell. Since they are mostly cloth, I will probably throw them in a cold water wash to make them extra clean.

The best part of the Goodwill visit was that I scored a Wacom Tablet for $89!!! I was just thinking the other day how I needed one and shazam! There it was, the exact model that I wanted, waiting for me behind the glass counter. It looks brand new and works perfectly.

Yup, it was a good day.

The Infinites

2010-12-09T14:02:00.000-08:00

I'm loving this song by Bomb the Bass. I wrote down the lyrics and I couldn't make out a few words so they are not one-hundred percent accurate.

Oh it's possible
they will understand
--?-- million years ahead of them

Back to light
Pure energy
We are the infinites bathed in shimmering fire
Where did we come from?
The race has has just begun
The transformation
We saw it all. Saw through it all
Our transformation
Our race has just begun

Back to light x5
Oh it's possible
Back to light
They will (won't?) understand
Back to light
--?-- million years ahead of them

Pure energy
Dance (That's?) like the infinites
Bathed in shimmering fire
Oh we're the infinites
Our transformation
Our race has just begun
Ourt transformation
Our race has just begun

Back to light x3
Oh it's possible
Back to light
The will understand
Back to light
--?-- million years ahead of them

Here's the video to it as well. The song is too good to not hear:

New Set on Flickr

2010-12-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

I FINALLY added my set of drawings on velour paper to Flickr. More will be on their way soon. I LOVE velour paper! It lends such a warm fuzzy feeling to the work and it feels good when I'm drawing on it.

FotoWeek DC

2010-11-06T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited to know that one of my little portfolio/artist books Natoma Home is now housed in the collection of the Indie Photobook Library. The library's archive is on view this week at FotoWeek DC.

Paper Trail

2010-11-03T13:04:00.000-07:00

I have some drawings on velour paper in the group show "Paper Trail" at Happy in Los Feliz. Reception is this Friday, November 5 from 6-10 pm. They are celebrating their 2 year anniversary that evening as well. Should be fun!

Stas Orlovski

2010-10-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

I went to Stas' "Nocturnes" art opening at Rio Hondo College and LOVED his work. I've been wanting to see his art in person for a long time and jumped at the opportunity when I found out about this.

Stas uses a combination of ink, lithography, oil paint, gouache, and xerox transfer. It is all so meticulously applied that it is difficult to tell what is drawn from his hand and what is a reproduction. I love that about his work.

I also dig his neutral palette and use of black. His work has a dark, mystical, and mysterious feeling to it. I have the sensation that I've stepped into the yellowed pages of an antique, tattered, melancholic book. It's a good feeling.

More of Stas' work can be viewed at Mixed Greens.

A Couple of Installation Shots of the Warm Fuzzies Show at Scoops

2010-09-28T00:32:00.000-07:00

Paul from the Happy Store provided these images. Thanks Paul! I have some other photos as well (process shots and reception shots) and maybe I will post them. The lighting was really bad in them so it will take some work before they show up on the internet.

Anyways, a big thanks to everyone who showed up at the show. It was a lot of fun to gather with all of my friends, eat yummy ice cream and talk art.

I was really happy with the 3 pieces behind the plex boxes. You can see one of them in the top photo. Matt fabricated the boxes for me so that I didn't have to go to a plexiglass place to have them made. He was such a lifesaver!

Warm Fuzzies and Cold Ice Cream

2010-09-07T20:31:00.001-07:00

My Show "Warm Fuzzies" is opening at Scoops this Friday. I'm so excited! I'm happy to get the work out of the box and up onto a wall. It's been sitting stored away unfinished for too many years. It's great to finally have them seen and close this chapter.

There are actually four more panels that still need to be assembled in order to call this a completely finished series. I want to bring the series to a full conclusion but I really miss working on my current art projects. I think I will just make it a goal to finish them in the next six months in between everything else I have to work on.

I have to again say that it feels REALLY good to see the Warm Fuzzies all up on a wall together. Be sure to check out the Scoops blog or Artslant for more info!

Art on the Wall

2010-08-08T17:30:00.000-07:00

I'm running out of room in my flat files so I hung some finished and in-progress work up. I like how they look together. Seeing them together like this helps formulate my ideas a little better too.

House Music

2010-06-28T22:22:00.000-07:00

This new print is in the shop. It's called "House Music" and the musical notes are written to the tune of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow".

Just Kids

2010-06-21T15:49:00.000-07:00

I LOVED LOVED LOVED Just Kids, the latest book by singer-songwriter, visual artist, and poet Patti Smith. It chronicles her and Robert Mapplethorpe's very beginnings as artists. They found themselves and their art while struggling through abject poverty in New York City.

I felt a certain kinship with her. She worked in bookstores, loved to read, was a little reserved, explored her creativity, created her own world in a bubble, and was a romantic. Utterly unpretentious, she captured a feeling of youth, innocence, hope, and bohemianism so perfectly.

The book made me feel nostalgic for a time I never lived through but felt via her writing. I was touched and cried a few times throughout the novel. When I finished the book, I was sad that I had to leave her world.

It was an extra special treat when I found a two-part interview with her on KCRW's Bookworm program. You can listen to it here.

Mail Me Art: Medium Without a Message

2010-06-11T21:19:00.000-07:00

I have two pieces of mail art in this exhibit, otherwise known as the Mail Me Art 2 Exhibition. There are so many talented artists and illustrators from around the world that have submitted to this show. Every single piece of art that was sent over a period of 9 months will be shown. The total comes out to over SEVEN HUNDRED pieces of mail art!!! WOW!

I wish I could be there but it's a tad too far away. If you are in London, be sure to check it out. Sounds like a fun event.

Dates:
Friday 30th July – Thursday 5th August 2010
Opening reception Friday July 30th 6-11pm

Location:
Red Gate Gallery
209a Coldharbour Lane
London SW9 8RU
United Kingdom
www.redgategallerylondon.co.uk

Warm Fuzzies Project

2010-06-10T10:00:00.000-07:00

This is a very rough version of the finished piece. There are several different groupings of colors in this series. The presentation part of this project is a huge endeavor which is why it has sat in a box for years. I am going to finish this once and for all this year.

Organization Geekery

2010-06-09T18:15:00.000-07:00

I went to a 40% off everything art store sale and came home with this pastel storage drawer unit. Something I've wanted for many years. Finally, my pastels are organized and will no longer contaminate each other. Such a simple thing and I love it. What I don't love is how much I spent in total at the store. Yikes!

New Print and New Prices

2010-06-07T18:14:00.000-07:00

I just listed this new print, "Stories and Songs" in my shop. It is a collage originally made circa 1995-1996. I found it in an old portfolio folder and I still love it. I was really into Joseph Cornell at the time and this piece was heavily influenced by him.

Print prices have also been substantially reduced in my shop. We are currently under a recession so my prices now properly reflect the current state of affairs.

MOMA Library

2010-06-06T00:55:00.000-07:00

I was updating my images on the Irving Sandler Artist File and read that the old hardcopy files were sent to the New York Museum of Modern Art's Library. I was too curious and had to search the library's catalog and found my name in the MOMA's database. I'm getting a little thrill from finding this out. :-)

I Bought a Ukulele!

2010-06-04T14:18:00.001-07:00

I've been a secret singer for years. I've taken private lessons and classes but I'm still really not that technically good. I've taken piano lessons so that I could read music and sing along but I have forgotten how to play. I have asked people to play piano for me while I practice singing, but I don't like relying on others and subjecting them to my voice.

I know of several people who play the uke and it's reported to be one of the easier instruments to learn how to play. I love its size and portability. So this compact instrument is a new hobby of mine when I'm just sitting on the couch relaxing from my day. It's also the perfect size for my tiny apartment.

My other musical endeavor is to learn the program Garage Band. I checked out Logic at first and then realized that was too daunting. I need to start with something easier and if it clicks with me, then I can move on to more complicated programs.

I want to make beats. I want to make sweet and simple little songs. Build from there and see what happens.

Abstract Expressionists Commemorative Stamps

2010-05-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

I just received these amazing stamps in the mail. I visited a few post offices but none of them carried this particular collection so I was lucky to find them online. I almost don't want to use them! The Robert Motherwell stamp is HUGE measuring 2" x 2 1/2". There is also quote by him at the top of the sheet that says, "The function of the artist is to express reality as felt."

Followers

2010-05-08T23:17:00.000-07:00

I just added the "Followers" widget on the side of this blog. I don't think anyone even really visits my little corner in cyberspace anymore. There were a few people who read it when I wrote a little more regularly a few years ago. I only started writing again recently and I haven't told very many people about it. I'm quit shy. But the widget is there on the side if anyone wants to keep track of this blog. :-)

This is for Technorati: 5MHSCJPNG3HU

The Mission District in San Francisco

2010-05-05T19:21:00.000-07:00

Me and Andrew, the proprietor of the Adobe Book Shop

Look! My name is on the wall of the Adobe Book Shop!

While in San Francisco, we made a trip to the Mission district where I used to live. We ate at super yummy Pakwan which tasted better than I remembered and stopped into the Adobe Book Shop. Andrew (the owner of the bookstore) and I recognized each other right away and it was fun to catch up. He showed me that my name was on the wall and I got quite excited about that. It was an art project that someone did. He wrote the names of everyone who was connected to the Adobe Book Shop. I remember Andrew telling me about this years ago, but this was the first time I actually checked it out.

There is also little back room gallery at the rear of the bookstore which is always fun to check out. The space gives many up-and-coming artists a chance to exhibit their work. There was an show of hand painted signs when we visited.

The Mission district gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling because those were the days when I was rediscovering myself in my mid 20's. I was going out way too much and worked at the now closed Abandoned Planet Bookstore. I loved working at the Abandoned Planet because it gave me a sense of quiet and peace in my life. It was a very funky and bohemian place (just like Adobe) and I met all sorts of characters there. There were people who just loved to hang out, read and chat about their lives. There were a few annoying lurkers/stalkers but for the most part, everyone was mellow.

I was very disappointed when I found out the Abandoned Planet Bookstore was gone. I wanted to stop in and say hello to the owner, Scott. I did find this little video of Scott and his bookstore just before he left.

My other job in the Mission district was at Herbivore on Valencia Street. I made some lifelong friends through there. Sometimes they'd visit me at the bookstore and we'd go out dancing at Liquid when I closed the shop. I was always leaving for some adventure in the city when I closed up shop. Liquid no longer exists either. It was a very dirty, dingy tiny bar/club. It had the most disgusting bathrooms. It was a fun place to go to even if it did close at 2 AM. ;-) It would get super packed on some nights and everyone would be getting down on the dance floor. From what I see now from a little research on the internet, Liquid is now a very different place. A slick, clean bar named Som.

Things are always changing.

I was totally charmed by the stores Needles and Pens and Rare Device. Rare Device is not located in the Mission but I had to mention it because I loved it so much. :-)

My Friend Jessie

2010-05-03T16:14:00.000-07:00

Matt and I went on a little road trip where we visited my friends Jessie and Mike. It has been a few years since I've been up to the bay area and I loved being able to catch up with my friends. I really miss everything about the SF bay area. Someday I will move away from LA again. sigh.

Jessie, who is one of my bestest friends, is a talented artist and designer. Above are a few samples of her work. Her art is colorful, whimsical and makes me feel happy every time I look at it. She has a great art studio just across the street from her home. You can see some photos of her studio on her blog. She is looking for someone to share her studio with in Oakland, CA so if anyone needs some space, contact her via her blog.

Other photos from my trip can be found here.

Birdie in the Window

2010-04-24T23:26:00.000-07:00

This was a very rare moment. There are always birds chirping away in the cotton tree but I never see any through my kitchen window. In fact, I never even noticed the wire silhouette before. The sun was shining at a perfect angle when I grabbed a camera a took a quick snapshot of this. It was an instance of perfection.

Etsy Shop

2010-04-13T18:26:00.000-07:00

I just made my Etsy shop, The Project Room public last week. I only have 5 items up right now but more will be on their way. I'm quite excited about it.

What's even more exciting is that an item in my shop was featured on the front page today! Yay!!!!

Below is a screenshot of the page. Thank you kclausen on etsy for putting together the lovely treasury and including my work. ♥

Importing from my other blog

2010-03-12T23:14:00.000-08:00

I had another blog called um-paro.com. I stopped writing in it in 2007 because it was becoming something other than I intended it to be. It started out as an art blog and turned into a way too personal blog. I was also tired of the look of it. Anyways, I finally imported most of my posts since it began in 2003. That's 7 years(!) of posts with some breaks here and there.

Unfortunately, a lot of the comments have disappeared because I initially used Haloscan for the comments. I have come to terms a long time ago that anything on the net is very temporary and could disappear.

I have a surprise in another week. It is something that I have been working hard towards. I will be making an announcement via email, facebook and here. I'm very excited!

Herb and Dorothy

2010-01-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

I watched Herb and Dorothy the other night and loved it. The film is a documentary about a couple who are avid art collectors. What makes their story amazing is that they weren't rich; Herb was a postal worker and Dorothy was a librarian. She paid the rent and bills and Herb's money went toward their art purchases. Their passion for art and the artists show in the movie. They loved connecting with the artists as much as surrounding themselves with artworks. Herb and Dorothy Vogel never sold a single piece of art. They gave their collection away to The National Gallery of Art and then collected even more art. They were so adorable too.

The Happy Project

2009-12-04T11:34:00.001-08:00

I am SO HAPPY that I finally finished uploading the postcards and finessing the Happy Project site. I had started this project almost nine years ago! It has been mostly on hold because I wanted to have a site up where I could refer people to. I will also upload the other older lists (not on postcards) onto my Flickr page when I get a chance. There are some really great lists. I love receiving and reading all of them. People enjoy participating in the project as well because it gives them a moment to reflect upon what they feel gratitude for in this life.

Let me know if you want to participate and I will mail a card to you.

Mail Me Art 2

2009-12-04T01:28:00.000-08:00

This is VERY different than anything I've done before; I tend to create quiet, minimal-ish works with soft colors. Clouds, birds, and thread appear here but it is very illustrative. I knew that the art I was submitting to Mail Me Art 2 wasn't going to be part of a series so I figured that I could be uber-experimental (at least for me) and go outside of my box.

Artists are supposed to stay within certain confines of their style. It shows a certain maturity. The style can change but it is usually an evolution. I'm breaking some rules here with the risk of appearing as a dilettante but I have been itching to draw more representationally. This blog is all about showing process and my dabblings as I experiment.

I have some more cohesive art in the works. It's just not ready to be made public yet.

Plenty Show

2009-11-16T20:57:00.000-08:00

I will have a piece in the upcoming show Plenty which will be held at
Happy
4675 hollywood blvd
los angeles, ca 90027

The opening is on Friday, December 4th 6-10pm and the show runs through January 24th.
Everything is 12" x 12" and under and all priced at $100. Looks like a fun show!

Trying Some Embroidery

2009-10-20T15:30:00.000-07:00

This is my first time embroidering so I practiced on muslin before I stitch on the real project. I like the results so far.

My Work Space

2009-10-13T19:37:00.000-07:00

This is where I do most of my work. It is half of our living room. Cutting and chopping of wood happens elsewhere of course. I wish I had more space but it is good for now.

Camera

2009-10-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

I finally bought a used Canon 20D camera. Up until now, I only owned film cameras and have always borrowed digital cameras when I needed to use one. This has been on my wish list for a very long time. I am so happy. This camera will enable me to move forward with implementing my dreams. Now I just need an Epson R2400 printer!

Flight

2009-09-09T00:02:00.000-07:00

I am revisiting some of my old negatives. Thinking of how I can rework them so that they are not just straight photos. This photo is printed on handmade paper and mounted on wood.

The Balanced Home

2009-09-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

This is the first of some ACEOs that I plan to make. The media is gouache, watercolor, acrylic, ink, and collage on paper. I have always made art in a more abstract vein so this is different than my previous work. I'm trying to incorporate a little more representational drawing into my art these days. The artist card format is great because it is tiny and I feel okay about throwing out the paper if I make a mistake.

Blue

2007-01-26T00:57:00.000-08:00

Azure azure azure. Lovely and sparkly. :-)

"Puzzles" art show

2007-01-19T12:38:00.000-08:00

So the piece that I was struggling with is finally finished and will be up at the show this saturday (tomorrow). I am happy with it. I don't have a photo of it though. I need to sell my film cameras and buy a digital one. Anyways here is the information on the event:

Organized by one of the Solid Funk peeps (Gravy and Sexy Modr parties)
"Puzzles" collaborative art show
This Saturday 7-11pm
open bar, beats, and art

1354 S. Grand Ave
Los Angeles
Map is here: http://tinyurl.com/33nuvm

Come join 30 los angeles and out of state artists for a night of great art,
music and open bar from 7pm-11pm... a great start to your saturday night.
All artwork will be for sale.
This event is free, however if you would like to donate to help keep events
like these going, we will graciously accept them.

we gave 30 artists an idea to portray their feelings on what puzzles them
with current society as well as what bothers them in life... this is their
interpretation....

Sabbotage

2007-01-06T02:56:00.000-08:00

Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way
Anything that may desert you
So it cannot hurt you

You only have to look behind you
At who’s undermined you
Destroy everything you touch today
Destroy me this way

Everything you touch you don’t feel
Do not know what you steal
Shakes your hand
Takes your gun
Walks you out of the sun

~Ladytron "Destroy Everything You Touch"

Today

2006-12-27T15:19:00.000-08:00

I am still struggling with a painting. I don't do well with themed shows. It's like being given a homework assignment. I want to keep it in the style I've been developing, but it's hard because I wouldn't have picked the size and format I am forced to use. I like to work on pieces that come from my own inspiration and heart. I don't need a homework assignment.

Problemsolving a Painting

2006-12-07T00:04:00.000-08:00

I'm tying 4 panels together and the theme of the piece is "matters of the heart".

Me: "But it isn't gonna be perfect."

Friend: "I know, you want it to be perfect. That's how love is though, right??? Not perfect."

Me: "Yeah, it's just all these pieces tied up in the best way possible."

Lovefest!!

2006-09-21T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm leaving for the San Francisco Lovefest. The next few days will be full of beats. Let the dancing and debauchery begin!!

I Believe in Magic

2006-09-15T01:39:00.000-07:00

I believe in the magic of love, of a smile, of intention. I believe in the magic of pulling a card and seeing the meaning as meant for myself. I believe in it because I look for it and whatever you look for becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you look for the negative stuff in life, then that is what you will find. I choose to see the joy and magic. Scoff at me all you want...this is my life and I want to see the good. Of course there is always some loss and hurt thrown in because this is life, and it is because of this that I want to walk on the sunny side of the street as much as possible.

Wow

2006-09-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

All I can say is wow.

The meditation retreat was life-changing. It moved my soul. It taught me so much- about myself, others, the world. It's indescribable. I sat in silence, did walking meditation, a few guided meditations, and there were dharma talks.

Philosophies that I have read really sunk in. There is a lifetime of learning but I am finally beginning to truly KNOW. Experiencing it vs. just being booksmart. Just the tippy tip of the iceberg.

Somehow, I must balance this with my everyday life while still incorporating presence into my days. Stillness...listening to the silence, to the being inside of myself which is connected to everything else. Truth.
I know that this is the way towards peace. True peace.

Gratitude for Someone Special to Me

2006-08-27T19:23:00.000-07:00

One of my greatest teachers is my friend Sandra. I met her while we were counselors at a summer camp. I had a crush on her because she was so independent and creative. She was always working on some dance project and she exuded a quiet strength. I admired her and her energy drew me in. We have become very tight and special friends in the 10 years we've known eachother. We've seen each other through the trials and tribulations of life. We've watched each other grow.

I respect Sandra so much. I am gushing but this is how I feel. She is one of the wisest people I know. Her advice always comes from a nonjudgemental, centered place while reminding me to look inside for the truth, even when it hurts. Even when the child in me wants to pout and throw a tantrum. Always patient, compassionate and empathetic when she sees me stumble and fall. She sees the truth where most people just see things from an ego-driven reactive point of view. She somehow understands why we act and react, and the motives that drive us. When I talk to her, my fears settle and I know that I must listen to the voice inside. I understand myself and the world around me a little more.

How lucky I am.

Red Flags and Long Nights

2006-08-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

This photo that I took on the beach just goes so perfectly with the song from She Wants Revenge "Red Flags and Long Nights":

Whether it's two weeks, two years, or just tonight
You can occupy my every sigh, you can rent the space inside my mind
At least until the price becomes too high
I can find a reason that we should quit, I can find a reason to do it
I can find excuses for all my shit
She tells me just to work right through it
She's pretty and I like her but she's too well
"Cause I need red flags and long nights and she can tell
It's not that it's my fault, it's just my style
Beginning with a look and then a smile
She don't need a thing, she don't need saving or a lay
She's got all her friends around and you can hear them say
"He's not into you, he's into the idea of..."
But little do they know that she's not through.

~She Wants Revenge

More Mary Oliver

2006-08-25T10:24:00.000-07:00

Excerpt from "The Summer Day"

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

~Mary Oliver

When Death Comes

2006-08-25T02:29:00.000-07:00

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was a bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

~Mary Oliver

Reflecting Back

2006-08-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a year. A year give or take a few months...of being in LA on my own. Discovering and growing. So full of surprises and all I can say is that I am smiling and looking forward to so much. Moving forward with my plans.
New headshots.
Auditions.
Art corner in the kitchen.
Starting new work.

Dating Advice From a Friend

2006-08-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

"Why don't you try dating someone who isn't an artist or musician for once? Someone who doesn't work in the arts at all. They can enjoy art...a lot...just not be employed in that field. They can have any other job in the world just not in the arts. Why don't you try that once? How about a few times? See the difference. And they should be over age 35...(sigh) alright at least 30 years old. Just try it!"

Laughing

2006-07-21T23:52:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite photo of myself that Adam took. Laughing is so good for the soul. My favorite is when tears well up because I am laughing so hard.

I haven't done everything I wanted to this week, but I am slowly gearing up to where I want to be. Hey, I'm a recovering slacker. I fall off the wagon a lot and all I can do is get back on. So here is what I've been up to this week:
I exercised 3 times.
I found a very cute old style neighborhood diner complete with a counter to sit at. I got a coffee, sat outside, and felt quite happy to be there. Okay so that is not a productive thing but I have been wanting to visit this place for a while now.
I auditioned for something today.
I recontacted a work contact and made some business cards.
I've actually been looking at the casting listings that get emailed to me and submitting my headshot to the appealing ones.
I've been feeding my friends because I've been inspired to cook at home and try out new things.
There is a Pearl art supply within walking distance from my house and I have stopped by there whenever I need something. I have materials spread out and ideas are brewing. They haven't quite materialized but they are there, shimmering on the horizon.
I researched and found some places that I might sit in on a meditation session. I'm new at this sort of thing and want a group of people to be around. I'm going to explore and find the right fit for me.
I cleaned my car out!! Woohoo!!!

Oh, and I've been reading Eat Pray Love. I highly recommend it for anyone who has searched for meaning, or has felt like he/she lost almost everything and wonders what else there is in life. I haven't read the entire book yet so I can't give a full review, but I like it so far. Women will like it especially since there aren't enough stories of women who go on quests.

P.S. I also fixed the "look" link on the previous post below.

Independance

2006-07-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

I went to a desert party this weekend that was a total blast. My talented friend Adam took some photos. I am wearing the silver halter top and later a green tank top. Take a look.

Here are other photos from 10 years of peeps hanging out.

Take a look around the rest of his site. Lots of interesting faces.

Burning Flame

2006-07-08T02:32:00.000-07:00

I always stood alone
But I came to face my life
And I struggled deep down inside
But I survived

(x2)
I'm not waiting
Waiting for the burning flame

Ill strike my own light
And play my own game
I'm not waiting
For anybody's burning flame

~lyrics by Krystal from the song Burning Flame

I Want

2006-07-07T00:35:00.000-07:00

Desire is the root of all suffering...but I want...

To drive off in a van to some godforsaken place and keep driving to other unassuming yet adventurous places.
I want a spiritually transformational experience in the desert.
I want to kiss a wild, beautiful man in a different town/city.
I want to be alone for a few days, really alone...with no radio, television, books, people, or phone. Complete silence with no distractions so that I will be forced to face my inner static.
I want to run away.
I want to visit that rural home in Ohio where I lived for a year. Where I used to get lost in the woods, stalk frogs, and listen to the trees in silence.
I want to sing really loud in a loud, glammy, "fuck it all" band.
I want to be locked away in a large studio and paint my days away and get drunk with fellow energetic artists at night.
I want to not care if I spend the rest of my days without a significant other.
I want to to be a better person.
I want to let go of old reactions.
I want to inspire.
I want to make a difference.

What do you want?

Birds

2006-06-13T21:40:00.000-07:00

I received some comments from the Critical Mass photography competition and it solidified how I feel about my Beach series.
Someone called my bird photos "quite lovely and serious". I knew that this was the direction that I wanted to take after I attended the photo review. Unfortunately some events in my life got in the way. I'm beginning to feel like I want to dig up the negs that I just threw into a bag and never looked at. It's a big bag. Kind of exciting yet daunting.

2006-05-31T23:54:00.000-07:00

"Sunrise, the sun sets.
You are hopeful and then you regret.
The circle never breaks.
With a sunrise and a sunset there’s a change of heart or address.
Is there nothing that remains?
For a sunrise or a sunset.
You’re manic or you’re depressed.
Will you ever feel ok?"

"For a sunrise or sunset.
You’re either coming or you just left but you’re always on the way.
Towards a sunrise or a sunset, a scribble or a sonnet.
They are really just the same.
To the sunrise and the sunset.
The master and his servant have exactly the same fate.
It’s a sunrise and a sunset.
From a cradle to a casket.
There’s no way to escape.
The sunrise and the sunset.
Hold your sadness like a puppet, keep putting on the play.
But everything you do is leading to the point
where you just won’t know what to do.
And at that moment you may laugh
but there is someone there who will be laughing louder than you.
So it’s true, the trick is complete.
become everything you said that you never would be.
You’re a fool! You’re a fool!
Sunrise, sunset.
Sunrise, sunset.
The sunrise and the sun sets.
Sunrise, sunset.
Sunrise, the sun sets.
Sunrise, the sun sets.
Sunrise, sunset.
Go home to your apartment
put the cassette in the tape deck and let that fever play.
Sunrise, sunset."
~Bright Eyes

Art

2006-05-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

It just dawned on me that I want to make my life one big art project. Fill it with color, energy, laughter, music, and dancing. Make it beautiful and make people laugh. I want to inspire and be inspired. Bounce ideas and build. Surround myself with like-minded people...the artists, the magicians, the weavers of light. People who make things happen.
I have a special energy that I'd like to share with the world.

Finally!

2006-04-27T23:50:00.000-07:00

I found a place after crazily looking everyday. It was getting close to the deadline of when I said I'd be out and I was getting nervous. One day, before I left on my search, I lifted my hands in the air and said "deliver me to divine residence". I repeated this 4 times as I faced North, South, East, and West. I pictured what I wanted...really focused on it. Later, while driving to see a listed apartment, I drove by a "for rent" sign. Immediately I liked the vibe and the elderly landlord sitting outside the place waiting for visitors. It was a little small but it had everything I wanted: hardwood floors, sunlight, parking, laundry, back stoop, option to have a kitty, and it was in the neighborhood that I wanted. This was it. I filled out the application that day and I got it! Today the landlord gave me the keys, left tangerines from his yard on my kitchen counter, and said that he left a note with the other tenants in the building announcing my arrival.

Somehow, this week everything is fell into place. The dark spell that I was under has been broken and I know that I am my path again.

A Quote on the Creative Being

2006-04-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

For the truly creative mind in any field is no more than this- a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive. To him a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death. Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create- to create- to create- so that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of beauty and meaning his very breath is cut off from him. He must create. He must pour out creation. By some strange unknown pressing inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.
~Pearl S. Buck

Wild Geese

2006-04-07T23:52:00.000-07:00

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting-
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
~Mary Oliver

Soon

2006-04-07T00:45:00.000-07:00

Someday soon I'll paint, sing, and take photographs again. I have to.

Random Stuff

2006-04-04T23:12:00.000-07:00

-So I cleaned out my entire studio. Photos will be posted soon. It is a great space and I'd like to share with everyone how I've been living...yet I have finally given my 30 day notice. I need a change, a new place to truly call my own. I am afraid of the transition yet so truly excited. I had moved to this building during a sad time in my life and it is time to change the energy. There are huge developments underway, no more stagnation. Oh so exciting!

-I am finally developing the friendships that I so need in this vast, lonely city of Los Angeles.

-Had a spur of the moment, random hangout time last night. Decided to see Peace Division at Monday Social which turned into an after party that lasted until almost 6 AM. Hung out with some interesting people which brought me back to the old days when I used to be ultra social and just be so spontaneous. Not something I'd want to do very often but it is a refreshing change. Lots of laughs and silliness.

-I don't know how to upload songs onto my server so I'll just post the lyrics to this uplifting Chemical Brothers song that has been inspiring me lately. It's called "The Test".

Ohhhh can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Can you hear me now
Yeah am I coming through
Am I coming through
Is it sweet and pure and true?

To looking back this morning
City air summer show me
I was looking like I'd never seen a face before
Here we go now let's slide in through the open door

Pictures and things that I done before
Circling around out here on the floor
I'm dreaming of this and I'm dreaming of that
Regretting nothing think about that

Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Yeah I'm shining
Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Lord I'm shining
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you

You know I almost lost my mind
I can't explain where I've been
You know I almost lost my mind
I can't explain where I've been
You know I almost lost my mind
I couldn't explain what I've seen
And I'm happy to have seen it too
Now that the images are fading away

Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Yeah I'm shining
Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Lord I'm shining
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you

You know I almost lost my mind
I can't explain where I've been
You know I almost lost my mind
I couldn't explain the things I'd seen
But now I think I see the light
Now I think I see the light
Lend me your hand (x5)

Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Yeah I'm shining
Seeing waves breaking forms on my horizons
Lord I'm shining
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you
Oh are you hearing me like I'm hearing you

You know I almost lost my mind
But now I'm home and I'm free
Did I pass the acid test? (x6)

Oh my my my mind
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
You better go defend now
Or you better go to bed now
(Am I coming through?)
(Am I coming through?)
My heart and my soul they are free
My heart and my soul they are free

You know I almost lost my mind
But now I'm home and I'm free
Did I pass the acid test? (x10)

Oh my my my my mind

Alex an old friend

2006-03-30T01:14:00.000-08:00

I got in touch with an old friend of mine. We were best friends 8th-10th grade before I moved away. We kept in touch for many years after that but just fell out without meaning to. We used to talk to each other every day, giggle, flirt with boys, walk home together, and go to the mall. Girly stuff. We were super best friends. I remember we used to even go to the public library together. We were into the Sweet Valley High series and other high school romance novels. One day at the library, we both had an epiphany at the same exact time. We looked at those books and said, "Blech, those are trashy, gossipy, dumb books and I don't want to read those anymore!" We slapped those books down and never looked back. Well, who knows, maybe she did, but I liked how we were always on the same page in life. (No pun intended!)

We are even leading almost paralell lives at the moment. When we talked to the phone, it was like no time had gone by. No awkwardness at all. So cool.

On Obsessing

2006-03-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

excerpt from "In Praise of Positive Obsessions" by Eric Maisel -
in Eric Maisel's Creativity Newsletter, #28, October, 2002. ericmaisel.com

The common wisdom of therapy has it that obsessions are always bad things. As a feature of its namesake disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or as a feature of some other disorder, an obsession is a sign of trouble and a problem to be eliminated.

But the main reason therapists find themselves obliged to consider obsessions invariably negative has to do with language: an obsession is invariably negative because clinicians have defined it as negative.

Clinicians define "obsession" in the following way: an obsession is an intrusive thought, it is recurrent, it is unwanted, and it is inappropriate. Defined this way, it is obviously always unwelcome.

But suppose a person is caught up thinking day and night about her current painting or about the direction she wants to take her art? Thoughts about painting "intrude" as she balances her checkbook or prepares her shopping list. She can hardly wait to get to her studio and her rhythms are more like Picasso's on painting jags than like the rhythms of a "normal" person.

This artist is obsessed in an everyday sense of the word - and more than happy to be so! ...
For a contemporary intelligent, sensitive person, it may well make more sense to opt for a life of positive obsessions that flow from personal choices about the meanings of life than to attempt to live a more modest and less satisfying normal-looking life that produces dissatisfaction and boredom.

After all, no one can say how normal ought to be defined. In what sense is it normal to work at a job that constricts you and bores you rather than risking everything on a life that challenges you, even as it frustrates you?

Much of what we call normal behavior is simply based on fear. Indeed, the average person might even prefer a negative obsession, despite its horrors, to a positive obsession rooted in excitement, passion, and active meaning-making, so wild and unafraid would he feel if he were obsessed that way.**

wowee zowee!!!!!!!

2006-01-24T00:49:00.000-08:00

I made a very exciting purchase tonight. I bought my first real metal flat files!! Pearl art supply was getting rid of theirs and I bought them for $50 each! I bought 2 plus a $25 base. I've been wanting some for YEARS. They are huge and I am not so sure what I'll do with them when I move. I do not want to part with such treasures!

I looked them up online and they are going for $785 EACH brand new at the 45% off discounted price. WOW!
Check it:
http://www.dickblick.com/zz512/22/

I"M SO EXCITED!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2005-12-31T16:15:00.000-08:00

Have a stupendously fun and safe NYE. May 2006 be filled with many wondrous surprises.

Muse

2005-12-27T12:50:00.000-08:00

Other lovers have inspired art of the highest feelings of love and longing. You, in the little time I have known you, have inspired the gray of ache, disillusionment, loss and longing. I want to paint the color between the no colors.

Christmas Card

2005-12-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

Anticipating that I would write a few sentences declaring happy feelings, I wrote "Merry Christmas _____!" in small writing at the very top. Later, feeling crestfallen and empty when my bubble had burst, I found myself in a conundrum. No words came to mind that were appropriate for that once eager space. What to do? If I had known where I'd be, I would have initially made that tiny sentence at the top fill the whole page. It was written in pen so I couldn't erase it.

And how should I sign it?? How about a simple heart? Ooooh, maybe that's too much. I called my friend...
Friend: "What? He's afraid of a heart? No! Just draw a heart! No big deal!"
Me: "I dunno, he might be afraid"
Friend: "Of a heart??? Then draw a flower."
Me: "That's lame"
Friend: "Then how about a heart and a flower together?"
Me: "That might help, it may lessen the impact of the heart. But it may look too silly....Oh, I'll just draw a heart!"

After much deliberation, I drew a giant heart that filled the entire space with a comma and signed my name underneath it.

Bad "Carma"

2005-12-15T01:16:00.000-08:00

So I've been having a huge string of bad luck lately. I don't like to vent much on my blog, but I gotta do it sometimes.

I think it all started when I got my speeding ticket in September. Actually, hours before I got my ticket, I had to call AAA to pull John's car off the side of the road. It was practically teetering on the edge of the road with a straight drop on the driver's side. I managed to convince him to give up trying to get the car back on the road because I could tell that it was about to slide down the edge or flip over. The drop wasn't even really that far down, but it was the way the car was situated that put it in a very-likely-to-flip position.

Anyways, we were lucky that all went well with getting the car back up where it belonged (even with the tow truck drivers who were quite reluctant to drive much further on the dirt road to get to the car). But my bad "CARma" soon started afterwards:

Speeding ticket. I was going 90 mph but got written up for 85.

A girl backed into me and scraped my bumper. She paid for it.

I rear ended someone coming off the freeway. I hit a giant SUV with a trailer hitch so no harm done on her end. I guess I was kinda lucky.

My dad straightens out my hood for me and later that very same day I crunch into a pole in a parking garage. Totally screwed up my front right side. My car had a crappy paint job, but now the body looks like crap too.

Someone breaks into my car the day after I crunch it. Busted the back passenger window and stole my stereo along with my book of beloved CDs. Music that most people won't even like. Half of them are burned and are mixes by obscure DJs.
Lesson here is don't EVER leave your faceplate in the car. Don't hide it in the glove box or under the seat. I was taking it in with me for months and I started slacking these last couple of months. Ack! I keep regretting my laziness! But too late for that. They would've stole the CDs anyways if they couldn't get the stereo. Grrr, and I was even telling myself then that I needed to take that book in!

So now my car looks like crap, I drive around in silence, and I miss my music collection terribly.

I Like My Body When It Is With Your

2005-11-30T23:16:00.000-08:00

While procrastinating from my move into the studio next door, I came upon my favorite poem by EE Cummings (titled, i like my body when it is with your) It always makes me smile:

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite a new thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like,, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh . . . . And eyes big Love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you quite so new

Apartment Hunting

2005-11-18T22:39:00.000-08:00

I've been absent because I've been looking for my own place. Who knew that looking for a home would turn out to be so difficult? I must have looked at at LEAST 20-30 places in the last 3 weeks! Maybe it's because I am so indecisive. Maybe it is because LA apartments suck. It used to be that I would have my eye on a place and would just move in. I truly WANTED it. Maybe I wasn't as picky as I am now. I want a balcony or patio, a clean, semi modern kitchen, lots of room so I can section off an art area, a gas stove, a parking spot, a peaceful neighborhood but not too isolated, a place that will accept a cat because I want cuddly company, a sense of peace when I look out of my window. Hardwood or faux hardwood floors would also be a plus but not necessary. (They are hard to find on the westside of LA.) Is that too much to ask?? Perhaps it is. Maybe I should have taken one of the places that wouldn't accept a pet but was alright besides that. GARSH!

I guess I'll be moving into the bigger art studio next door in the meantime. Could be cool. It costs more though. Okay, I gotta just tell mysself that nothing is perfect. I am feeling completely neurotic!!! Aaaah!

Delightful dreams

2005-11-11T23:22:00.000-08:00

I love it when I dream in technicolor and the perspective is skewed. I am filled with some forgotten wonder and delight. Awed by an almost epic beauty conjured from memories and experiences.

Light

2005-10-14T21:36:00.000-07:00

I sometimes felt that I didn't have enough to write about because my life was missing an element of poetic wistfulness. I didn't want to revisit my past yet the present seemed so...bland.

Now that a somberness has set in, I realize that what was really missing in my life was celebration. I forgot to look around.

Lately my nights have been filled with dreams of fireworks.

The Katrina Artists Trust Fund

2005-10-13T21:17:00.000-07:00

is set up to help artists affected by the recent disaster. It is organized by the Contemporary Arts Museum Houston. Go here if you'd like to donate.

Agnes Martin

2005-10-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

There are certain artists that I visit via books, the web, and magazines. One of them are Agnes Martin. Her work is simplistic and pure. She was categorized as a minimalist yet she didn't want to pegged as such. She was deeply poetic, in touch with nature, and considered art to be a spiritual quest. Martin lived a life of solitude and owned neither a television nor stereo. She gave up all of her possessions in the later part of her life to drive cross country and start a new existence in New Mexico. She died in December 2004 at the age of 92. Agnes is someone that I would have liked to have met.

Here is a quote that describes her work:

"My paintings are not about what is seen. They are about what is known forever in the mind."

San Francisco to LA to Chicago and Back

2005-10-04T00:28:00.000-07:00

It was all a whirlwind of experiences. Full of dancing, hugging, and special moments with special people. I couldn't see or do as much as I wanted to and I missed out on some people in the process. I had a hard time trying to keep it all together especially since I was tired most of the time. I've done a lot of sleeping since I've been back.

Highlights:

Love Parade.

Wine tasting in Sonoma with with one of my bestest friends.

Running into the very cold ocean just so that I can take the perfect photograph. Then after the photos were taken, I stripped down to my bathing suit and dived under a wave. Brrr!

Seeing Bruce Nauman's One Hundred Fish Fountain at the Donald Young Gallery. The fish are all cast from actual lake fish.

Drinking orange flavored coffee in a cafe called Orange.

Having wine flights and cheese with S at Bin 36.

S and I walking around town with matching hats.

Meeting R in the most unlikely of places and exploring Old Town Chicago together. We had a wonderful time. Then poor R had to take care of me when I twisted my ankle.

Going to Second City without actually planning it and catching a special guest appearance of James Belushi at the free after-show improv.

Tossing a Frisbee with R in sunny Wicker Park. There were beautiful plants and bushes and there wasn't enough time.

I'm glad to be home but I miss my kindred spirits.

Here and There

2005-09-21T01:19:00.000-07:00

I've been tying to be productive, but have only been half good at it. I think that I've been escaping more than anything.

Went to San Diego and caught up with an long-time friend whom I originally met in San Francisco. Visited her the following week to take photos of her in the pool.

Also saw Caro Es's work at the George Billis Gallery. Her work is even more wonderful up close and personal. I knew her a little bit from reading her blog and it was such a delight to finally meet her!

I am now going on vacation. Driving up to the Bay Area to catch up with my lovely friends and attend the Love Parade. I'll drive back Sunday, work Monday, fly to Chicago on Tuesday, fly back Saturday, and go back to work on Sunday. Whew! I'll need some more downtime from all of that! Tomorrow is going to require loads of caffeine since I am only going to have about 3 hours of sleep. Yikes!

Fears

2005-08-25T15:55:00.000-07:00

Something I shot in my studio the other day.

Two Views of My Studio

2005-08-17T15:35:00.000-07:00

This is my bedroom and office area.

This is my work area.

Sometimes I wish I got the bigger space. But this wishing will only lead to unhappiness since this is where I am now. I only hope that the air purifier works for the allergies that I have in this space. I normally do not have allergies and the slumlord refuses to fix the mold problem. There is someone else who is between the landlord and myself and I don't want to disrupt her living situation by making a stand. So I will have to move out in a few months for health reasons. Too bad.

Okay, I am back...

2005-08-15T22:36:00.000-07:00

It was Elise's last comment that finally brought me back to the blogosphere. I realized that I've been gone for over a month now. By the way, thanks Elise for sending me the 10 Things That Make Me Happy card! It's been a while since you did that and I am still working on the new site. Anyone else who is interested, please email me. (I am too lazy to throw in links for my project and email right now. They can be found under the "About" section on this site)

I don't think that I am as sorted out as I'd like to be, although I finally finished my taxes and I have a fan. That was a big relief (the taxes, I mean. Well, the fan was a relief too now that I think about it.). I didn't get as much done as I aspired to and I'm still muddled about some things in my life. I'd like to someday redesign this site and get a few others off the ground. I need to spend more time on art and take more acting classes. I still just need to smog car!
The to-do list never ends.

Although I said that I wanted to take a break from writing, I still couldn't help myself. I wrote unpublished blog entries that I am finally now posting. I uploaded them with their correct dates down below so it is like I never left. It's a little neurotic I know, but I just didn't want to place any pressure on myself. I wanted to write without commitment.

So here they are...

Norton Wisdom

2005-07-25T22:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday night I went to an awesome underground party. I initially thought that I would leave by 2:30-3 am but I ended up staying until about 6 am. I guess it was a fun event!

The music was oh-so-danceable and there was a live action painter by the name of Norton Wisdom. The website doesn't do his work any justice because what is truly amazing is that he paints to the music on a large backlit screen. His paintings are continually dissolving and morphing into other images. He works quickly and it is as if he is channelling energy from the spirit world. The divine is what moves his hand through the viscous layers of light and dark.

Wisdom has performed with many bands (including some very well known ones) throughout the world, and has shown internationally in galleries and museums. You can see a whole different series of paintings that he has worked on through the years here at the Patricia Correia Gallery.

Linky

2005-07-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

Here's a link that I would like to share.

Perfect

2005-07-20T22:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I find myself envying the woman who has the studio next to me. She has a separate life complete with husband and two kids. She comes in Monday through Friday around 9 am and leaves around 5 to be home in time to take care of her children.

Her husband has come in several times, usually donning a suit and he has helped her move many heavy items into her studio. He recently put in an air conditioner for her.

I wish I had a fan to battle the heat in my studio.

I wonder if her life is a s perfect as it seems.

I suppose I wonder these things because my life has recently undergone some big changes from what was once a seemingly perfect life.